I used to look back at the last three years, to the start of my mental health journey, where I was first struck by the disease that almost killed me on many occasions. But now, with the help of therapy, I look back on the seeds that were planted well before the last three years, that eventually led to my mental and physical decline. With a hell of a lot of hard work, both from myself and my loved ones, and sometimes from the kindest strangers, I am able to now class myself as a first class WIP (Work In Progress). Though limited in my self-help career, I wanted to share something that helped me to resurface in the hope that they may help you to plant a seed to do the same.
From a young age, the lack of control over my own life was very evident. Through cultural traditions and being over-protected, I grew further and further away from my family, and further and further away from the most authentic version of myself. I was angry, confused, lost and trying to become the best suited version to the people who surrounded me at the time. I didn’t think that people would like me if they knew who I really was. And the joke was, even I didn’t know.
I grew up thinking there was only one type of person and that I had absolutely no choice in the matter. It is so tragically heartbreaking for me to reflect on these thoughts. However, now, I have slowly begun to embark on this wonderful and torturous journey of self-realisation. It is by no means an easy feat, but it is so incredibly satisfying. What do I have to do today? But, what do I truly WANT to do today? I can guarantee they are not aligned to-do lists.
Trying new foods, meeting new people, going to new places and constantly stepping out of my comfort zone has allowed me to tap into what really makes me happy. Learning to say no to people is so incredibly challenging when you have spent your whole life trying to mound yourself to everyone else’s requirements. Now that I control my own finances and I work when I need to, it helps me start to feel like I have regained some of the power and control from other parties in my life. Autonomy and making your own decisions everyday and every moment is SO important for your mental health – even if that decision is as small as to wear matching underwear today.
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