Stream of Consciousness // Poetry

Yawning the clouds apart in a lazy whistle
This protagonist lays in media res
Falling out of naïve daydreams
Stretching into Monday morning rituals
Of groaning resistance
Procrastination hushed by the
Exasperation of the universe
Clicking its tongue at my
Habitual restless mindlessness

My numb nose and toes flex; Eyes unglue
As the motivation trickles out
Hastened by the corners of the skypaper
Pillow safety nets juxtapose the violent explosions of magenta
Kissing the lips of the fierce lion
Magnificently draped in a fiery mane
Golden mangoes and oranges
Rolling out of the galactic basket

8 minute sprints for an Olympic record
Cue the studio audience laughter
Jaws drop and smiles break even
Tsunamis are wrongly misnomer natural disaster
The truly natural disaster is in the
Giants scraping the paint of the earth’s walls
Turning her grey with their pointy needle tops and toxic breath
Grey emissions of antagonism send your hero
Collapsing…lack of oxygen…pressure lock opening

Throttling out of control into the vast twilight zone
Of abysmal chaos and decision fatigue
Attention economy thriving on our
Permanent distracted, selfish existence
Cutting through layers of fog frosting the atmosphere
Inattentional blindness and disconnection
Life in technicolour too close for comfort
Success in digital civilization mandates the essential
Unadulterated focus creates meaningful existence

Seismic forces ripping holes in the fabric of space time
Time is subordinate to gravity’s fondness for origami
Tesseracts: the hours wrinkle and folds
Convoluted macro states of maximal disorder
Flight of ideas of connectionism and associations
Delusions of grandeur and streams of consciousness
Autonoetic unconsciousness and poor working memory
Distressed genes and blind to progress
Body in Limbo from analysis paralysis

Hypocritical mind wandering: volcanic and beautifully unsemantic
Roaming across the default mode network
Connecting dots between the impossible
Non linear neuro-a-typical big picture networks
Merging and confusing and meandering and contorting and winding and twisting and
Attention open, scattered, captured and completely off centre
Disarray of input; Information overload; Malfunctioning: cannot compute
Self-destruct sequence in 5…4…3…Boom
Plasticity shut down

And there I lay floating
In this whirlpool of ethereal light
Ricocheting inner world blurring the lines
The ghosts of my pasts withered into stardust
And my lungs filled exhaled self loathing
Continuous waves of self inflicted black holes
Supernovas off the walls of my self concept
Pulling myself out of the noise
I will not go gently into that good night.

Anusha Ramji

Anusha Ramji, 2nd year Psychology Student, Mind-Wanderer

This photo [above] respects aspects of my identity. The blur is a metaphor for how my inconsistent focus shapes my perception of the world to create a unique construction of it. The presence of bright colours and lights relates to my personality: vibrant, colourful, dynamic, energetic, enthusiastic, *insert many adjectives*. The choice of a night scene relates to my ceaseless internal motors and constant mind wandering: even at the twilight hour. Altogether, it is meant to portray my experiences with ADHD and the beauty it adds to my life.